Release Date: 6/24/2013
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The Good: There’s sex…kind of, and violence
The Bad: Atrocious graphics and voice acting, awful animations, shooting mechanics are broken, boring and dull combat, quick time events are literally broken, driving sequences are unfinished, the camera sucks, the sex scenes are like two deformed dolls humping, the story sucks, the music sucks, just…why?
What can I say, the allure of being a biker got me interested in this game. I just tried it with no knowledge of it at all, I saw a few screenshots and went for it. The game seems okay at first, until you realize something. There are no graphics options in this game, you know you are getting into something bad if it has no graphics options. After playing the broken up, badly done intro, I thought the game would be at least playable, I was wrong.
You play as a biker named Jake who comes back home from serving in the army. Your little brother gets into some trouble and is killed by a rival biker gang. You now have a vendetta against the Devil’s Hand, this all started after they recognized your jacket which is from the Retribution gang. It was your dad’s old gang and now you are stuck with his mess. It seems a bit promising, but everything just falls apart after the first mission. Where do I start? How about quick time events, the X and Y buttons actually aren’t even recognized during these sequences so you always fail them. The X and Y buttons work fine in combat, but for some reason are completely broken during QTE’s…good job guys. Second, the animations and voice acting are just so bad. When Jake is holding a gun his hand doesn’t even go around it properly, the list goes on.
The combat is terrible and boring. Mash X and Y forever, some times Y will appear above and enemy to counter attack. It doesn’t help that the camera is all over the place, but the worst is the shooting. It takes 10 bullets to drop an enemy unless you aim for the head. The aiming is so bad and the acceleration is awful. When you move the reticle over it suddenly speeds way up in less than a second. The cover system is just as bad. Blind fire doesn’t even work, Jake just shoots at the cover he’s in. What kind of pile of crap is this? The game tries to sell itself on the many sex scenes that are in the game, but they are awkward and there’s not even any nudity. It looks like two plastic dolls humping each other. Jake has sex with a female mechanic with her overalls on, yeah explain how that works?
I can’t really say anything good about this game. The screenshots may look good, but the game is really ugly. All the settings are turned all the way down by default and you can’t change them in the .ini file. The game is supposed to support DirectX 11 and other features, at this stage it looks like a first-gen Xbox 360 game. I still wonder how Deep Silver allowed this game to be published. Even the driving sequences are bad, the motorcycle drives at 500 mph and feels like a squirrely boat. There are times when you need to use QTEs to knock down opponents, but again, the X and Y buttons aren’t registered and you always fail them.
There’s really nothing to say about the game that’s good except it has violence and sex. Even that is poorly done. The game is playable, but just barely and only while you wrestle with all the game mechanics that should just work. It’s like the devs started making this game, didn’t like how it was going, but had to release it anyway, so they submitted their alpha build and called it a day. Ride to Hell is the worst game I have played all year, just stop yourself from making the same mistake.